There is a moment when one has meandered through the early years of her twenties when she officially realizes, I am not a child prodigy. I will never be a professional athlete. I will not be the youngest person to summit Everest, nor will I be the youngest person to do much of anything. And while one can certainly focus on the subtle feeling of let-down that accompanies that realization, it is good to accept one's fate and look forward knowing that great adventures can still follow and good work can still be done.
When I look at Mia, all I see is possibility. As much as I try to stay in the present and enjoy each moment of her current magical state, I can't help but become starry-eyed thinking about all that she will do in her lifetime. I'm not particularly attached to her becoming the first woman to compete in the Tour de France (or even the Giro d'Italia, for that matter), and it's okay if she doesn't cut her first live album before college. But I must admit, I have a sincere longing for her to live her life fully, embracing the myriad opportunities and welcoming adventures that surely will present themselves to her. And with all the milestones she reached in the month of December, it's difficult not to begin imagining all that Mia could become.
Josh and I are eager for Mia to experience this beginning part of her life surrounded by love and happiness, so that she will have a strong sense of confidence and a general feeling of well-being. We also want her to be surrounded by music, culture (sometimes not so easy to do from the comfy confines of SW PDX), language and nature. We want her to begin to realize the great possibility that awaits her as she lives her life and, if she so chooses, she can experience art, music and literature (Moo Baa La, La, La will have to suffice at this stage) starting right now.
And what better time to dive into the world of music than the Holiday Season? We busted out our collection of Christmas music on December One as Daddy commenced constructing his light display ala Clark Griswald. He took it to new levels this year and even took the time to attach a short, battery-operated string to Baby Mia's stroller. We rocked Aaron Neville's Soulful Christmas in the evening as we decorated the tree, which is WAY more fun with a curious, bright-eyed baby. She loved the ornaments and the feel of the prickly branches. And as the gentle lilt of Aaron's Ave Maria filled our home and soothed her to sleep, Baby Mia officially decided she would give her parents an early Christmas gift and drop her 5:00 a.m. feeding only to awaken with those shiny blueberry eyes at 7:00. We were tempted to shout "Hallelujah!" from the rooftops, but alas, we refrained.
For a little Country/Folk twang, we also played a lot of Emmylou Harris through this holiday season. Christmas Time's A-Comin' was the perfect accompaniment to all the holiday baking we did. Mia practiced her Plank pose and Downward Dog (Reggie is really a gifted teacher) on the kitchen floor as we baked Julekake (cardamom bread), Nog Logs, Star Spritz, Raspberry Crescents, and a new fave, Chocolate Espresso cookies. It wasn't until mid-December that I noticed that the previous four or five grocery store trips all involved a butter purchase (you're welcome Tillamook Creamery). Not kidding. I think we went through ten pounds of butter. Our house had a constant smell of nutmeg, cardamom and fir tree. I hope Mia will forever associate those sweet smells with feelings of comfort and joy.
We listened to Il Divo in the morning before Mia's morning nap. And as Los 4 Guapos belted out Noche de Paz, Mia decided that would be the background music for one of her major December milestones. She crawled. First she went for a book. Then, she went for a little light-up thing. Then the Christmas tree. She saw stuff she wanted and she went for it. As her strength developed over the month, so did her determination. She is interested in paper (she prefers newsprint--we'll see if she remembers what it was in 10 years when newsprint will likely be a thing of the past. Pardon me as I silently mourn the coming loss of my daily morning paper), presents, little toys that light up and make noise, musical instruments--especially the ones that Grammie Chris got her for Christmas, and, of course Jake, the cat. In fact, she loves Jake so much that she bursts into laughter when she sees him and her little body trembles with delight. Fortunately, Jake is so starved for attention that he'll take what he can get and welcomes Mia's clumsy pawing and tugging.
Josh took Mia out on lots of shopping dates this month and quickly realized that she is a total chick magnet. He threw her in the front pack and strutted through the stores as the ladies swooned over her sparkling eyes and sweet smile. He dutifully responded with, "well, she takes after her mother." Seriously, he told me he did.
We braved the cold for Tuba Christmas early in the month. Mia was well dressed in her fleece snow suit, but was happy to warm up with Irish Coffees and apple cider after the show. Speaking of snow, Mia got to experience her first encounter with a beautiful snow storm that hit the 29th. Unfortunately, her rookie parents decided it would be fun to go out for a walk in the blizzard and failed to cover her little hands. She evaded frostbite but her little pink mitts definitely took a few extra minutes to thaw when we got home. On the upside, our house was like a little snow globe for a couple of days and every window displayed a beautiful wintery scene.
Mia was a star for all the Christmas festivities. She bounced from party to party and enjoyed meeting her second cousins, Evan, Madeline, Abigail and Gracie. Those three girls passed Mia around like she was a little doll and she didn't complain once. In fact, she seemed to light up with the interaction and attention.
December ended with a few bumps in the road. Mia came down with her first cold and we quickly realized how lucky we are to have had such a healthy baby. It was, quite literally, torture for us to see Mia suffering with such inconsolable discomfort. I decided I better call the doctor to see what to do and when I rattled off her list of symptoms (runny nose, cough, low-grade fever), the doctor said, "so, what's the problem?" And I replied, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER???" And she replied, "this is your first child, isn't it? So, we spent lots of time taking hot steam showers, getting acquainted with the bulb syringe (Mia hates it), and doing lots of rocking and quiet time. And as Mia was whimpering and crying one night, she called for me. That's right. She said, "mama." Between Josh and I, we've heard it about 8 times. The first time I heard it, I said, "hah, it almost sounded like she said, 'mama.'" And Josh said, "She did." And, with our mouths hanging open, once again, in awe, we gave her big hugs, not quite believing that it actually happened.
We closed out the year with our fifth annual Jarecki party with oysters, fondue, champagne and a new addition of bacon wrapped dates. Sinful. And the answer is, no, we did not make it to midnight. In fact, the party was more of a happy hour and was over by 6:30.
The end of the year signified a coming transition for our family that will, without a doubt be a difficult one. I will begin preparing to go back to work in mid January and will have to remind myself daily how lucky I was to have been able to stay home with Mia until she was 8 months old. I take comfort in the fact that, in our new, albeit more separate lives, Mia will continue to develop and explore all that is before her. And the possibilities for Mia are endless. She is surrounded by love, language, music, culture, art and nature.
Everything Possible is a song that makes up the soundtrack of my life and, I haven't sung it much to Mia until recently, perhaps because I am preparing myself for the first of many transitions that we will face in our lives. It is now clear to me why my parents and my parents' friends sang it to Missy and me so frequently with such hope and love in their eyes.
Chorus of Everything Possible by Fred Small:
You can be anybody you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself
You can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
And the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're done
I can only hope that the messages she hears in the beginning of the soundtrack of her life will influence her as much as they influenced me. And I must agree with her Gramma who repeatedly exclaims (sometimes hollers from her balcony), "She's a love. That's all she is."
